Canadians Love Vodka And Hamburgers
by cupcakeloversunite001
Summary: Canada is sick and tired of the sexual tension of the Cold War and decided that his brother needs to get laid. So he devises a plan to get Russia and America to have sex. Will the sex turn into something more? RusAme and kinky sex. Yaoi, boyxboy!
1. Sexual Tension

**A/N:**I know, starting another story when Mirrors Are A Curse is not finished. I am trying to challenge myself. This chapter is just a prologue and I might or might not continue this. I can never get enough of this pairing, especially the Cold War. So I hope you like this.

**Summary:** Canada is sick and tired of the sexual tension of the Cold War and decided that his rather needs to get laid. So he devises a plan to get Russia and America to have sex. Will the sex turn into something more? RusAme and kinky sex. Yaoi, boyxboy!

**Warnings:** I guess nothing much really. Mainly talking about sex. It will have really kinky sex later, but for now it is really tame.

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It was the 1960s in the height of the Cold War. Shortly after The Cuban Missile Crisis. All countries were more than a little stressed. Especially Russia and America. Many thought of the threat of a nuclear war. Which none of the countries found desirable, due to the ending of World War Two not long before.

The Cold War was not actually a war. If you want to go by the history books, it was a war of tension between two powerful countries, Russia and America. There was no real war fought directly between those two superpowers. The real war was between their lust and hate for each other.

America was too much in denial to say that he lusted for that Russian, and Russia said that he hated that 'Capitalist Pig'. In meetings, all they would do was glare each other down, daring another to make the first move.

Luckily for those two countries, Canada and France knew better, they saw between the two countries anger. To put it frankly, both countries needed to get laid. So, in order to help his brother out, he would plan for his brother to be in a relationship with Russia.

He knew America would be reluctant at first, but he would invite his brother over, and they would have food and talk. Nothing too suspicious. If America knew what Canada was planning then the attempt would be ruined. Canada had to go about this carefully, because damnit he was still half French!

Canada wasn't surprised when America didn't decline his invitation. America was usually at his brother's house, keeping him company. Also, mostly because a visit to his brother's house meant he could slack off work and Canada usually didn't mind. He thought it was good for his brother. Also, it would help set the plan in action.

America was sitting at Canada's kitchen table, more tense than ever, holding his hot chocolate mug. "Mattie, I just don't know what to do. He already had the upper hand once."

"Al, you just need to release that tension so you can think clearly."

"But how?"

Canada nonchalantly took a sip of hot chocolate "Have angry hate-sex with Russia."

America however, nearly choked on his drink. "W-what!?"

Canada laughed and grabbed a towel for America. "Like I said, have sex with him. Do I really need to explain it to you?"

America took the towel and cleaned the mess, staying uncharacteristically quiet.

Canada looked at his brother curiously. Did it really shock him that badly? "Alfie? Look, I know it must be a little bit awkward but-"

America interrupted his brother "How will I even get him to do it. Y'know, have sex with me. He hates me remember?"

"Oh trust me Al, he'll do it." Canada said, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"But when should I do it?"

Canada thought for a moment. "Next world meeting. Al, I'm not going to tell you how to seduce someone."

America wined. "But Mattie, why does it have to be hhiiiimmm?"

'Because you are perfect for him.' Matthew thought. "Al, this way, maybe you can find his weakness."

"Like kryptonite!" Alfred said excitedly.

Canada chuckled, "Yeah Al, like kryptonite."

"Uh Mattie, can you make pancakes?"

Canada sighed and decided to humor America and make him happy. "Sure Al."

Making pancakes with Alfred seemed to be a task itself. Not only was Alfred impatient, he also stood over Matthew's shoulder the whole time. After three batches failed because America decided to "help", they finally made a delicious stack And ate in mostly silence.

"Thanks bro! Your pancakes are the best!" Alfred said, licking his plate if the leftover maple syrup.

Canada grabbed their plates sighing at the mess that Alfred made opinion his kitchen. "Hey Al, what do you really think of Russia? Not only as a country, but as a person?"

"Well uh, as a country I really don't like him. Like, I actually hate him. Communism is totally the worst system. Like ever. But umm, I don't really know how he is now, but I guess he is okay as a person, especially for a commie bastard. I remember before all of this World War shit, he helped me in my Civil War and he even had colonies in my place. Also he sold me some land. I would totally like to think once his commie ideas stop, we could totally be friends. "

Canada smiled,exactly what he wanted to hear. "Okay Al, I was just wondering."

Both countries sighed when Matthew's phone rang. Both countries already knew that it was Alfred's boss. Alfred got up and picked up the phone. Having an hour long phone conversation. Matthew didn't really pay attention, because it was none of his business, but he was annoyed that Alfred couldn't even spend the day at his house without being called.

"Sorry Mattie, but boss says I have to get my ass back to D.C." Alfred sighed while hanging up the phone.

"They can't let you take a day off to see your brother?"

Alfred sighed again. "Yeah sadly not bro. But we'll totally hang out later m'kay."

"Do you need a ride to the airport?"

"No, apparently a cab is already outside." Alfred pouted.

"Oh, well remember what I said okay? Take care Al."

"Bye bro."

Canada hugged his brother farewell and gave him the leftover pancakes. Telling him to be back soon.

Canada smirked while leaning against the doorway, watching his brother leave. "Phase one of my plan is finished."

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**A/N:** So um, tell me what you think if this. I do not know how many chapters this will be, but it won't be very long. Maybe five to nine chapters? Thank you for reading this!


	2. Coffee

**A/N**: So I have been missing for a long time... Longer than I anticipated and stuff. I have been way too busy for school. Though this fanfiction became more popular than I anticipated... Even though it only has five reviews. So I just wanted to let you all know that I am going to finish both of my chapter fanfics no matter what! Now let's get to it!

**WARNINGS:** This chapter is the last chapter without sex. This chapter has cursing, drugs, and I think that's it.

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Alfred walked into the meeting room rather nervous, for no reason at all. He has felt a sense of foreboding since the moment he woke up this morning. He even went to Starbucks. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Matthew. "Hey Matt!" He called and waved with the hand on which he didn't have a drink in.

Matthew looked over to find his brother waving at him nervously. He walked up to Alfred just as the other nations were walking into the large meeting room. "Hey Al, what's up?" "Hey Mattie, have you like had a strange sense that's something bad is totally gonna happen?" Matthew looked at his brother strangely. "Uh... No Al... Are you okay?"

Alfred shook his head and was about to explain, but noticed several more nations arriving to their chairs. "Do you wanna talk about this in the bathroom?" he asked whispering while setting his coffee down on the table and walked to the bathroom with his brother.

Ivan smirked when he saw Alfred leave his coffee wide open. "Stupid Amerika" he said quietly. More to himself. He took off the coffee's lid and poured a strange powdered substance into Alfred's coffee. 'This should do it' he thought to himself. He shut the lid and he quietly sat in his chair, next to the Baltic states, who were trembling beside him.

Alfred and Matthew came back shortly after their talk in the bathroom. They sat in their seats next to each other and waited for the meeting to start, Alfred feeling much better, though he couldn't help but shudder slightly when he noticed Russia staring at him menacingly. He managed through his uncomfort to glare back at Russia. 'Damn Cold War.' He thought to himself. He relaxed slightly when he found England walking up to the front of the room for his presentation.

England saw Alfred uneasy and he cleared his throat. "Alright, so I think we may start the meeting. Now with the recent Second World War and all of the land disputes are taking care of. However, most nations are concerned with recent... Tensions with Russia and America. Most nations are afraid of a Third World War,"

"Keep me out of it." Switzerland interjected.

England rolled his eyes. "Anyways, we want to make sure we won't get in another war with you two."

Russia smirked and leaned back into his chair, "Amerika wouldn't last that long in a war with me, so it would hardly be declared as a war. But da, as long as he doesn't start anything, I will refrain from starting a war."

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Yeah whatever commie, I would totaly win 'cause I'm the hero.. But yeah, I promise to not start anything."

Arthur nodded, "Alright, now that we have your promises. Meeting is adjourned, everyone can go home now."

Alfred stood up from and chair slamming his hands on the table. "Wait wait wait wait. Ya mean that you dragged us all of the way out here to your place JUST so we can make a promise!"

Arthur sighed, he knew that Alfred would act like this. "Yes, we thought this was the best way to make you promise. In front of everyone." A

lfred didn't comment but sat back down and drank his coffee, pouting. Meanwhile Ivan was smirking, hoping the nations would leave immediately. To his luck, as soon as they were dismissed several nations left, so that there were only three nations left in the room. Ivan, Alfred, and Matthew. Of course, as always, no one saw Matthew.

Ivan casually walked towards Alfred, and smiled as he noticed Alfred looking pale. "So Amerika, are you feeling okay?" He smiled deviously.

Alfred felt very faint and held onto the table for support. He glared as if he was burning a hole through Ivan. "You did this." He accused harshly.

Ivan chuckled. "Da, I did Fredka, don't worry you'll be fine, I promise." Alfred gave a final glare before he came limp and fell into Ivan's arms. Ivan smirked and picked Alfred up bridal style. However this didn't go unnoticed by Matthew.

"What are you doing to my brother?" Matthew asked, walking up to Ivan and his brother. Ivan swallowed, damn, he didn't know Matthew was there. "I am merely releasing some tensions between us, nothing more. I promise no permanent harm will come to him."

Matthew looked at his brother, then back to Ivan. He should probably do something, this was technically kidnap. However, by the sound of it the two Superpowers would just fuck already. Then phase two of his special plan would be finished. "Fine, just promise you'll have him back soon."

Ivan smiled childishly. "Thank you Mattvey, I will be returning him in three days." Ivan walked passed Matthew with a limp Alfred in his arms. Oh yes, these would be a very... fun-filled three days.

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**A/N**: I promise the next chapter will have sex, and it will be nice and kinky.. Sorry this chapter is kind of short.

Oshihime: Thank you! I hope this catches your attention!

Sunny-This-Side-Up: Here is your chapter!

Dualsky: Love your use of Spanish XD! It is kinda weird!

Guest: I will always ship these two in hell too! Anyways, I swear that almost every other chapter will have sex from here in some way!

GabrielLovesSweets: Here you go!


	3. Sexy Beginnings

**A/N:** So here is the start of the smuttiness fest! I hope this smut is good! Sorry for the long wait, but here it is!

**WARNING**: Yaoi, boyxboy! Aphrodisiac usage, bonds, toys, sort of dubcon and sort of humiliation.. Name calling. Sort of.

* * *

Alfred felt himself wake up in a haze with a splitting headache. He was on a bed... A huge bed... He opened and closed his eyes again. To find his vision less hazy. He saw just a small room with a closet and door.

He jumped slightly when he noticed the door open and sat up when he realized he wasn't tied up. Ivan walked in smirking, while holding a plate of eggs and toast with jam on it. Alfred looked at the food and back at Ivan. What the hell was he planning?

"How the hell did I get here?" Alfred spat angrily.

Ivan smirked and placed the food on the bed. "Well I thought it would be obvious Fredka. I drugged you and now you're here for three days. "

"Why the hell would you drug me?"

"Would you come with me if I hadn't?

Alfred opened his mouth in protestation for a moment before closing it. Ivan did have a point... "Commie bastard... What do ya even want from me."

Ivan smirked and pushed the food slightly to the side and climbed on the bed so that he was hovering over Alfred, with his hands by Alfred's shoulder and his legs by Alfred's hips, his face dangerously close. "I think you know what I want."

Alfred swallowed and blushed, his demeanor changing quite noticeably from a few moments ago. "I-I Umm." Isn't this what Matthew told him to do with Ivan?

Ivan continued his smirk and got off of Alfred. "For now... You eat."

Alfred shook himself out of his momentary embarrassment. "Yeah, and you probably poisoned it... So hell no."

Ivan sighed. "I didn't poison it. If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it already."

Alfred eyed Ivan and took the food, he ignored Ivan's smirk as he started eating the eggs. It didn't taste any different... So it should be fine.

As soon as Alfred finished the food Ivan smirked. "I didn't poison it, I swear. But you might notice yourself feel feel different, don't worry, it is normal."

"What the hell are you-" Alfred scowled then all, of the sudden he started to feel something... He felt... Well hot. Several tingling sensations started forming. "What the hell did you give me!"

"An Aphrodisiac." Ivan said simply. Ivan smirked at Alfred's glare and walked over to the closet. He smirked when he found the chest full of adult toys he had bought for this particular occasion. He grabbed lube and a few scarves.

Ivan smirked as he looked over to Alfred who was blushing, trying to hide a very obvious bulge in his pants. "You know I could take care of that for you Fredka."

Alfred swallowed for a second. He was so turned on, it actually hurt. Even though Ivan has essentially kidnapped him... "Fine, just put your cock in me or whatever,"

Ivan smirked and pulled Alfred into a heated kiss, fighting for dominance with the clashing of tongues. The room seeming to get hotter and hotter. Ivan brought his hands to the bottom of Alfred's shirt and roughly took it off of him, only breaking the kiss for a moment. He then grabbed the scarves and tied Alfred's hands together.

Alfred broke the kiss momentarily. "Wait.. What are ya doing commie?"

Ivan took this chance to quickly tie Alfred's hand to the bed post. "Just making things more interesting by adding a few...elements. I'm going to blindfold you..."

Ivan was quite surprised when Alfred nodded and let Ivan blindfold him. Ivan guided Alfred so that he was laying down. He took off Alfred's pants so that he was only in his boxers. Ivan removed his own clothes down to his own boxers and climbed on the bed so he was on top of Alfred, placing the lube on the side of the bed.

Ivan kissed Alfred briefly on the lips and slowly began treating kisses down Alfred's stomach and began taking Alfred's boxers off so that his fully exposed cock was exposed.

"D-don't tease.." Alfred gasped slightly while Ivan slowly started to stroke his cock. Since he was blindfolded, he had no idea what Ivan would do next, and that thought was both hot and terrifying. He could feel every little gentle touch Ivan was giving him, and the feeling was just so erotic.

Ivan grabbed the lube on the side of the bed and squeezed some on his fingers and warmed it slightly, the placed a single finger in Alfred's hole and smirked as Alfred gasped. He then started pulling his fingers in and out while his other hand went to Alfred's nipples teasing them slightly. Once he felt Alfred was ready, he pushed another finger, scissoring slightly.

Alfred moaned loudly as he felt himself being stretched and played with. His senses completely heightened, plus the aphrodisiac already coursing through his tingling and hot body.

Ivan pushed in his final finger and looked for that special spot and when AAlfred practically screamed in pleasure he knew he found it.

He slowly took his fingers out of Alfred who groaned in protestation. "You're such a slut Amerika."

Alfred blushed slightly. "Am n-not"

Ivan smirked and started to take off his own boxers to reveal his own hard member. He went back to Alfred and lubed himself and slowly pushed himself into Alfred.

Alfred gasped as he felt something huge enter inside him, getting used to the unfamiliar feeling. "Move." He said briefly.

Ivan smirked and started thrusting slowly into Alfred who started moaning. "You're such a slut Amerika. Looking so wanton while I'm fucking you."

Alfred moaned while the heat through his body was getting worse, and the Russian's words were bringing him closer. "Oh god f-faster!" Alfred practically shouted, while his back was arching with every thrust to his prostate.

Ivan smirked while pushing in faster as well as harder. Feeling himself grow closer, he pumped Alfred's cock in time with his thrusts.

Alfred practically screamed as he came into Ivan's hand and his own chest.

Ivan grunted and came deep inside of Alfred. He immediately pulled out and got off of the bed.

Panting, and more than a little confused on why Ivan got off the bed, especially when he was still blindfolded and tied down. "Ivan? Untie me." He noticed the effects of the aphrodisiac slowly winding down.

Ivan smiled and went back to his chest full of adult toys and grabbed a vibrator. "Nyet.. " He smiled when he climbed back on the bed and squirt some lube on the vibrator. "This may feel.. Awkward."

"Ivan what the-" he was suddenly cut off when he felt something being gently pushed into his hole. Even squeaked slightly when it started vibrating, barely brushing his prostate.

Ivan chuckled. "You will keep this until I say to take it out."

Alfred struggled against his bonds and moaned slightly, wishing the vibrator could be pushed further in. "I-Ivan."

Ivan took off Alfred's blindfold and smiled. "Feels good da? There will be more of that if you stay Fredka."

Alfred looked at Ivan, the man who he has claimed to hate so many times. "Fine.. It's not like I have a choice. I hate you so much."

Ivan smiled at Alfred's response. "Feeling is mutual. Round two then?"

Alfred nodded. "yeah, sounds good, commie."

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**A/N:** Okay, so this was sort of kinky? I can't decided if I like it or not? I plan to make it more and more kinky as I go along. I felt weird because my parents were in the same room though... So review please? If you have any specific requests for a kink just let me know! The only thing I won't write is scat and _vore._

_Comments: (A lot! Wow, thank you.)_

kawtharthegreat: Here is the update! Here are the fun times!

imamotherfingtespot701: yes, I'm well aware. XD thanks though. I realized after you pointed it out.

America: Um hi?

Night-Chan-DragonEyes: thank you!

Noke Neko Lover: Thank you so much for reviewing, it really does mean the world to me!

sasunaru: (x2) For your first review, I completely agree with you! It makes total sense, my friends talk about it all the time! For your second review, Thank you so much! Here is your update, I hope your nose didn't bleed too much!

Francis Bonnefoy: Of course you do! But hey, I think we all do. ;)

Roseyposey: Here is your update senpai! Kinky sex is fun to write!

MarmaladeQueen: thank you! Here is your update.

NattiTheVillain: Here is your update, and I hope it is to your expectations!


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